Come on, you can do it!
Endure a little bit!
Don't give up!
Bear it!
If you give up, it will be your defeat. Failure.
If I were you, I wouldn't give up so easily.
Just do your best!
...
I'm sure that you've heard this more than once in your life. Sometimes from others, sometimes there are voices in your head. Someone's voice of course. And I can't say that there is no truth in these statements. But there are also falsehoods. It's not always about enduring. Sometimes to stay and don't give up, means to lose. Hitting your head against the wall and being stubborn is not always a success. Sometimes the winner is the one who says that was enough, I can't and I won't do this anymore. Sometimes letting go is your victory.
I often meet people who are suffering and are not satisfied. Some of them with business life and some with private part of life. A lot of people are working a job they don't like and also they're doing nothing to change that. The only thing they do is complaining. And there are those who constantly express dissatisfaction with their relationships. They are suffering and struggling and can't find the way to their own happiness.
Along with all of them there are those who will push others to endure, fight and never give up. I do not know which ones are worse. Those who don't love and respect themselves enough to make a change in their life or those who push others to stay and fight in situations and relationships in which they are suffering.
If you read my posts then you know that what I'm writing here is what live and it's from my own experience. So also I was in a situation where people told me not to give up. And you know what? I gave up. Like that. I realized that I loved myself more than torturing myself. I realized that I had a right as a person and as a woman to put my own boundaries. I didn't have them before. I was suffering in silence and hoping that things will get better in time. I didn't stand up for myself, and to do nothing, to make things better. I thought I was a good person and that others would notice that. I hoped that if I'm persistent, things will get better for me. All I have to do is be patient for a year, two ... four. But things didn't get any better. Then life slapped me and in one moment I realized that I was suffering as a fool for nothing and my responsibility was to end that.
You start to realize that with suffering and not giving up, only one thing increases and that's your own sadness and dissatisfaction. You don't believe in yourself anymore, and your own self-esteem and faith falls and almost disappears. Sometimes others use your low self-esteem to manipulate and turn your weakness into their benefit. When suffering reaches the top of the scale of mental and spiritual self-destruction, then the click happens.
That's the time when you say stop.
No more. No further.
It's enough.
Then you take the full responsibility for your life. For your sake. And you know what, that's fine. Because it was necessary.
That's a victory over yourself.
What I actually want to say is that it is sometimes more than OK to give up. Finally, set the limits and decide to play your life game by loving and respecting yourself. Those people who truly love you and what to see you happy will be your life companions. Those who enjoyed your suffering will fade away. And let them disappear. They're not good for you anyway.
But also, be aware that sometimes you really need to be patient and push for a higher goal. That's more frequent in education, training, and business upgrade. Try to understand that's is just a phase. Tell yourself that you are temporary here and that's just a period and a part of your life path. Be aware that if you make the effort that things will change and you will move to a higher level. When I'm not completely satisfied I ask myself these questions:
'' Who am I in this story? ''
'' How does this serve me? ''
"What will I get?"
"Will patience and effort pay off in the end?"
When you ask such questions, it's easier to understand that it is just a phase or period in life that is necessary to strengthen your knowledge and character. When you look at things, accept them and start planning. Step by step to the end. To the higher goal. The situation is changing and patience is here for the purpose of growth.
When you understand the difference between patience and enduring, your life will become better and you'll be happier.
If you are patient you will be the winner at the end. You've managed to master one life stage to get better and start a new life cycle. If you suffer and realize that you no longer want that and you give up, again, you are a winner. You passed a life school of respect and love for yourself. And you won. You defeated yourself. And that's the biggest victory.
Remember, success is not measured by other people, but your own happiness.
Your Life Coach Ursula